Diabetes shakes my confidence

As I work my way through my T2 diet plans, medications and BG testings I have found that my confidence in myself is completely shaken. Can I put the blame on my T2. No, of course not. But, along with a depressed economy, my body letting me down has me now become a stagnant. I cannot make a decision, even the simplest of decisions. With my BG all over the map at present regardless of my cardio activity, eating those hmmm tasty high fiber, high protein and low carb cereals for breakfast and broiled chicken and fish. I feel a strong loss of control over my life and that my decisions do not matter.

This has left me indecisive. Really, really indecisive. I cannot decide what to eat, what type of exercise to do and it is seriously impacting my work. I am paid for my opinion and I struggle to decide what to recommend. I develop new business by strong networking and I struggle to decide what company to target and so on and so on.

I feel emotionally weak and find that I spend an inordinate amount of time starting and stopping working on things and delaying completing things due to the fear I have of trusting my decisions on what and how I do those things.

I track my meals, my exercise, I average my calories at 2,000 a day with the main calories coming from proteins (I really hate broiled chicken, just hate it), drink 8 glasses of water a day, sleep 7-8 hours a night and than take a BG and get a 130 in the morning and have breakfast and it zooms to 207. WTF. Why do all this discipline when it does nothing. Ok, let’s drop to 1,800 cals, do 90 minutes cardio and oh boy it only flies up to 198.

I fight each day to get past it, but for now I am pretty much coasting. I do not like to coast, I like pedal on the floor.