Screwing up

One of my favorite shows is House.  The writing it great and so is the acting, but the character House has something that I just don’t have, but desperately want.  It is not the intelect or the scuffy beard.  It is the ability to dismiss his mistakes, screw ups.  While it is never stated, he just doesn’t walk the talk of the only way to succeed is to make mistakes, he lives it.  Well, acts it.

The character demonstrates how the only way to successfully solve difficult problems is to not be afraid of making mistakes and to have a level of persistance walking the edge of insanity.  For most of us, we need a strong level of persistance, but to greatly control that fear of the MISTAKE.

I screwed up today.  Not just once, several times.  But, the last one will keep me up for several hours.  It was a mistake that could have been prevented, should have, but was not.  Now the mistake did yes provide an opportunity.  One, it allowed me to recontact someone I am desperate to get in touch with and two, perhaps, just perhaps it allowed me to demonstrate that I am willing to admit my mistakes openly and not just say I am sorry, but offer a way to make it better.

Like the 3 step apology.  State what you did wrong.  Sincerely (and you need to learn to fake it sometimes) apologize and take full responsibility.  Lastly, as how you can make it up to the person, group or in George Bush’s case a country. Well, several actually.

I am beating myself up mentally for the mistake and now instead of getting somewhat near 8 hours of sleep, it will be more like 4.  Considering the topic of this blog, my T2 will not benefit.

I wish I did not have diabetes, but more than that I wish I could convince 12 year old instead of me that it is not only okay to make mistakes, but it is necessary.  I know that, you know that, but  that 12 year old is a stubborn and was brought up by a untolerant Grandmother who did not admit to mistakes and fully instilled that thought process in her grandson.

I hate screwing up and worse screwing up in front of people.  I fear I have passed this along to my children.  Before I die, I will correct that in them.  I hope it is not too late for me, but I fear that it is.

Lead us not into temptation, but deilver us from evil.  Forgive us of our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned upon us.  While a mistake, screw up is not a sin (oh it can be), but forgiving yourself or better thinking that you don’t have to forgive yourself because the mistake was/is necessary.

I had to make this mistake, I did.  For one it is now giving me the incentive to write this entry.  Two it will give me more evidence of the contacts manner in how they handle someone making a mistake.

It is not just that in the end IT could be a good thing, it is that most mistakes we make (that don’t do harm to us or others) are GOOD things, necessary things.  Let me replace my old behaviour with this desired one.